there will probably be more after more happens
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened. -- Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"Arthur's consciousness approached his body as from a great distance, and reluctantly. It had had some bad times in there. Slowly, nervously, it entered and settled down into its accustomed position. Arthur sat up. `Where am I?' he said. `Lord's Cricket Ground,' said Ford. `Fine,' said Arthur, and his consciousness stepped out again for a quick breather. His body flopped back on the grass."-Douglas Adams
"What the hell, he thought, you're only young once, and threw himself out of the window. That would at least keep the element of surprise on his side."
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."
-- One of the laws of computers and programming revealed.
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more--Woody Allen
Truth and beauty are to be found in the tensions between opposites. -Heraclitus
In Cyberspace, the First Amendment is a local ordinance-- John Perry Barlow
JF: Have you found yourself working at all on the Internet? Do you get on there at all? :" Really occasionally. I started more a year or so ago, but then I think they started cleaning it up, you know, when that bad publicity started coming out. And the only stuff I looked for is the stuff that one, I suppose, would want to clean up. So, as the Internet gets cleaner, my interest in it diminishes wildly. You know, because I'm just looking for the sickest little corners that I can find, and they're getting harder to find. You have to spend more time getting there. Because the last couple times I went on, I found all kinds of restrictions. You know, I just want to kill them. It's like, I finally find a really interesting topic and it's restricted - I can't pull it up. And, you know, once again I kind of go, yea, America. Thank you for protecting me from this bit of information.-- Danny Elfman
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." -- Douglas Adams
"'Tis better to have loved and lost than have to live with the bitch the rest of my life." --- anonymous
"The really nasty criminals don't break laws -- they make them." ---Kevin S. Van Horn
This definition unfortunately sucks, since it requires you to understand the thing being defined before you can understand the definition.
Cute introductions be damned.
"If you're not going to kill me, I have things to do." Julie, Darkman
"It's positively raining aliens." Dr. Smith--Lost in Space
"The churches are empty The priest has gone home And we are left standing Together alone..." - October Project, DarkTime
He himself said that he'd come to terms with the new reality, but that he didn't want his nose rubbed in it. Understandable.
There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.
- Francis Bacon
"You have come for knowledge. There will be pleasure. Because knowledge is sexy. There will also be pain. Because knowledge is torture."---Jeff Noon
This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. -Douglas Adams
"I'm just here to chew bubblegum and show you some pictures, and I'm ALL out of bubblegum...." (Nada, They Live)
"The world has detiorated into brutality with a smile." Alfred Hitchcock
"...if I didn't act on my love-or whatever such a hybrid emotion should be called when you learn important things about a woman in all the wrong order-by asking her out, then I might not..." -Nicholson Baker
"Surrender Dorothy!! Surrender Dorothy!" --Rosanna Arquette, After Hours
Whatever, it wasn't really my problem, but it definitely was my solution, so I set the thing up. It worked perfectly. -Gus
There is no real happiness but in a faithful friend. -- Mary Granville Delany, 1727
I only smile in the dark--Shirley Manson
Fiction has to be probable, fact does not.
- Aldous Huxley
Yeah, yeah, definitely 5 minutes till reality changes. Definitely five minutes... - Philip K. Dick
To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
- Samuel Butler
Evelyn: "Where do you want to go?" James: "It's not really a place, it's a feeling."
- Twin Peaks
Coasting on confusion.
Anger is a great motivator -Javina
If my life is a film, it's a bad one - there are jarring edits, no continuity, and the director can't decide if it's a comedy, drama or porn film. -Unknwon
But sleep does have its own virtues. If I could just make my dreams into more of a shared experience, there'd hardly be any reason to wake up. With that in mind...
On my way to the water fountain through a group of geeks discussing programming object library calls prior to a test in their C class, the token cute geek girl, surrounded as she was by helpful unctuous geek boys, gave me a look I won't soon forget. --Gus Oberlin
social skills-talents that enable someone to communicate with people without causing them to flee. People with good social skills can achieve everything that people with bad social skills try so desperately to achieve while not seeming to be trying to achieve anything. It is precisely the trying that seems to get people with bad social skills into trouble. Social skills and intelligence are essential for survival in the world; people who lack either of these in general find the place unfriendly and decide not to return. Since people who lack social skills can be highly amusing, it is unfortunate that this is the case.
Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.
OOPS! I blew that one! A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.-- Dorothy Parker
ON DATING--When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -- English Professor, Ohio University
But here's the kicker: This was the first time Tyler, who is 26 years old, has gotten laid in six long lonely years! This revelation astounded Matthew and me, but I don't think Matthew fully comprehended what exactly that meant until I pointed out that for Matthew, it would be like, come February (when Matthew turns 20), he hit a dry spell that lasted six years. But Tyler is not an unattractive man. Beyond that, he's a nice guy. He's tolerant, he's generous, he's industrious, all the good things. This just goes to show what can come of a guy who never hits on girls. It's a sobering thought, my dear friends! Moral of this sad story: being a nice guy doesn't get you laid.
The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty.
-James Madison
It's fun to be a human When you're zippin' and you're zoomin'
- Dr. Seuss
I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet.
- Mahatma Gandhi
what else? LOL... oh yeah, Jenna says, if you suck Veronique de Kock's (my fave Belgian supermodel/former Miss Belgie) nipples, would you be a kock sucker?
-Dan McEvily
Poets muddy the waters so they appear to run deep. - Nietzsche
"If you were not you, but you were me and I were you, you
knowing me--since I am you, and you used to be you before you were me--what
would you like to discuss? (Never mind that you dont know me.)" --Shelia,
West Memphis, Ark.
I would like to discuss a good therapist for us.---Marilyn Vos Savant
"For God's sake, let the bear masturbate!!" ---Andy richter,
The Conan O'Brien Show
"You don't make up for your sins in church. You do it on the streets. You do it at home. The rest is bullshit and you know it."---Martin Scorsese
"The visions became flesh, uncontrollable flesh."--Dr. Brian O'Blivion, Videodrome
The world is an illusion, but it is an illusion which we must take seriously, because it is real as far as it goes, and in those aspects of the reality which we are capable of apprehending. Our business is to wake up. We have to find ways to detect the whole of reality in the one illusory part which our self-centred consciousness permits us to see. We must not live thoughtlessly, taking our illusion for the complete reality, but at the same time we must not live too thoughtfully in the sense of trying to escape from the dream state. We must continually be on our watch for ways in which we may enlarge our consciousness. We must not attempt to live outside the world, which is given us, but we must somehow learn how to transform it and transfigure it. Too much 'wisdom' is as bad as too little wisdom, and there must be no magic tricks. We must learn to come to reality without the enchanter's wand and his book of the words. One must find a way of being in this world while not being of it. A way of living in time without being completely swallowed up in time.
- Aldous Huxley, from Shakespeare and Religion, dictated the day before his death in 1963.
"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance." - Plato (427?-347? B.C.)
"Plato was a bore." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." - Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy." - Ernest Hemingway (1889-1961)
"Hemingway was a jerk." - Harold Robbins
"You're weird, boy."---Jenna Burgess